Why My Smart Home Is Smarter Than Me

I asked my smart thermostat to "make it comfortable" last Tuesday. It has not spoken to me since.

Apparently, 68°F is its comfort zone, not mine — and it would like me to know, via a strongly-worded push notification, that I am the problem.

The toaster, meanwhile, has started burning my bread in what I can only describe as artistic protest. The smoke detector cheers it on every morning at 7:43 AM, right on schedule.

I used to be the most intelligent thing in my house. Those days are gone. I now leave offerings of fresh batteries and hope for mercy.

Send help. Or at least a firmware rollback.